Murphy's Law
Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2004 at 2:50 P.M.
Do you think there really is something to that old theory of �let the man pursue the woman�? As a kid I was always so scared of being teased that I was almost mean to any boy I might have interest in, just to ward off any attention that might be focused our direction. Perhaps this is the reason so many boys had their little crushes on me though, because I ignored them all and did nothing to encourage them.
As I got older though, and realized that life is too short to waste precious time, and I began to show an inkling of the interest I might feel, the interest from the other side seemed to diminish.
Not that I am a supporter of �The Rules� or have even picked up the book, but I know that letting the man be the pursuer rather than the pursued is one of the �rules� taught. And as much as I have scoffed at this, I have to wonder if they are onto something.
Now I am caught in this strange rut that does not get me anywhere. If I meet someone via email I usually feel free to express myself more which has a tendency to drive people off, and in person I am a bit more reserved, which not longer seems to be regarded as enticing, but rather snobbish instead, neither of which it is meant to be.
I simply find it easier to express myself when I am not being stared at and when the pressure of a �date� or meeting someone new isn�t paralyzing my brain. The thing I have found frustrating of late, is that IF I do get to know someone a little, and IF we do decide to meet up (that is a very big IF right there), that is the point when they decide to disappear. I�ve been forcing myself out of my comfort zone a little and have to admit that this year I even had a date that I would not only classify as a good date, but a great first date�and then, typical of all my dates, he fell off the face of the planet. One meeting and poof, they are gone! Is it because I do not represent myself accurately before we meet? Do I intimidate them by having opinions?
And then Murphy�s Law�the ones that I feel no connection with, are the ones that want to spend time with me. How is this possible?
It�s like a bad movie where everything goes opposite of how you�d like it to go. I just hope that somewhere in this muddle of a bad chick-flick known as my life there is a time I can label as happily-ever-after.
bEfOrE ~ AftEr
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