trapped

09.18.2009 at 12:11 PM


I should write more, but I don�t always have stuff to say. I don�t even take pictures too much anymore and still have a backlog on my computer. Don�t know if I�m just unmotivated or what. I�m feeling rather ambivalent about everything these days. Maybe my attitude would change if I could finally find a job I love instead of some where I feel repressed and like my mind is going to atrophy into oblivion. I feel that I am losing my skills learned in my years at my past (and in hindsight terrific) job in Utah. Here I spend my time battling with a photocopier and deciphering unclear instructions from a boss who obviously doesn�t want me to learn.
I keep applying for jobs, but we happened to move to one of the most downtrodden areas in Ontario and for every job I apply for there are hundred of other applicants. How could my resume not get lost in the shuffle? I have been applying for jobs steadily for a year now and have had only 3 interviews. One of those three as the perfect job for me where I would get to use my mind and have the freedom to troubleshoot creatively but the market turned and they decided the couldn�t hire. I keep in touch with them through email and every few months remind them that I am ready to jump on board when they say the word.
I will get my seasonal layoff from this job November 6th and cannot survive on what unemployment pays so I have to find something else. I just feel almost hopeless since I�ve been searching for a year and am, well, still searching. If I haven�t found another job in the past 12 months what makes me think I will find one in the next 1 month?!
Every night I look through all the job postings I can find and apply for any I am qualified for. I�ve thought of posting my resume on Monster and other search engines like that but my current conniving boss is just that; conniving. I know that she tried to keep tabs on everything and I wouldn�t put it past her to be trolling the employment sites to see if any of her employees are out there looking.
Trapped. I guess that is the best way to explain how I feel right now.


bEfOrE ~ AftEr

  • : : :
    wHaT dO u tHiNk ?


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