once again a glutton for punishment

08.21.2006 at 9:18 AM



One month from today I�ll be in Waikiki. Yay!
But that means some serious bulk-down energy needs to happen� need to eat better and get moving more (I have been going out on more extensive photo excursions lately) need to also work on a base tan so I don�t fry while I�m there.
School also starts this week, my last class for my associate�s degree. Yay! And it�s online so at least I don�t have to drag myself to class.

Last week was tough. I was wallowing in my self-induced pity-party. Part of it was just feeling lonely, part was that Kay has a new guy pal, and for once he�s local and they spend TONS of time together, which just makes me feel like a bigger loser. I ended up taking 2 days off work chillin� and taking pictures.

But I am such a stupid glutton for punishment. I thought that since Kelly always encouraged me to do more with my photography that I�d tell this about the county fair (did I mention that I won 2 blue ribbons?)

That led me to the following conversation��


Subject: you'd be so proud
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NT S Sat, Aug 19, 2006 at 10:13 PM
To: Kelly
so i entered 3 photos in the county fair. Got 2 blue ribbons!
:)
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kelly Sun, Aug 20, 2006 at 12:06 AM
To: NT S

AND you never would have done it if not for my bitching. do you know
who i am NT? I am the new lizard king...and i can do anything, and
so can you. I would never steer you the wrong way, because I love you.
love has many definitions and we pick different ones. but you are a
special one, and when i see your work, I know you are a wonderful
human being that can do extradinary things....i would never lie to
you. you can do it all. i got photoshop cs2 for freee....i will
explain it to you later...how i got it.
Love ya forever.
Kelly
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NT S Sun, Aug 20, 2006 at 6:09 PM
To: kelly
well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I've been planning this since
my friend entred last summer,
thanks for the love though.
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kelly Sun, Aug 20, 2006 at 10:18 PM
To: NT S
no worries...your not busting any bubbles here...I told you to do
something before last summer..didnt I. So why would i be so proud of
you..except that I was bugging you to death. such an ass.

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NT S Sun, Aug 20, 2006 at 10:21 PM
To: kelly
um, yeah I didn't know you last summer silly ;p

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kelly Sun, Aug 20, 2006 at 10:23 PM
To: NT S
well i guess i wouldnt really be proud of you then.

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NT S Sun, Aug 20, 2006 at 10:25 PM
To: kelly
so you can't be proud of me unless you had something to do with it?
that's silly

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kelly Sun, Aug 20, 2006 at 11:34 PM
To: NT S
whatever liz. you know what the hell i am talking about. i dont have
time to play your games. good...win more ribbons.

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NT S Mon, Aug 21, 2006 at 12:02 AM
To: kelly
whatever is right.
I'm not the game player here. I was just asking you to be proud of me
and you turned it around into making it about you.
so yeah,
whatever

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kelly Mon, Aug 21, 2006 at 12:09 AM
To: NT S
how the fuck did it get turned around towards me, the only reason i
would be proud is that you got off your ass and did something with
them beside just show them on flicr, I told you to do something with
them, try to sell them, the frame thing, you always have some fucking
thing to say, "i cant do that,""my Uncle did that and it didn't work"
you dont want a damn solution, you want to fight every idea or
courtesy a person gives you or its just me.
I aint proud that you won a fucking thing, i am proud that you got up
and tried. whether you were planning it awhile ago or such...what the
fuck ever...lol. You did something. its a damn shame to see some one
with so much talent talking doing weddings for free and shit...now you
just got some ribbons, so whats wrong with trying to go and do what
your uncle couldnt.
You just piss me off with your insincerity at times. so dont email me
saying I would be proud, because you know why you said I would be
proud, only one fucking reason why, cause I pester your ass to do more
with your talent.
You just can't fucking say to a friend, Yes you were right. fuck it
all. dont talk to me anymore if you can't just be normal and so
fucking negative.
go live in your godamn cat hair. disrespectful ass.


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NT S Mon, Aug 21, 2006 at 7:22 AM
To: kelly

So maybe I have a different way of approaching things� maybe I like to
take my time and build up some confidence instead of bragging about
all the shit I'm gonna do� someday
Glad you decided to be a dick

Nice huh. I�ve blocked his email now so it immediately gets deleted. I wonder if I can block his phone # on my cell?


bEfOrE ~ AftEr

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